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Post by Dabeagle on Apr 6, 2015 12:06:17 GMT -5
So I spoke to the adoption worker today. Apparently Mike isn't familiar with our 'lifestyle' but it willing to give things a try. The worker's supervisor wants Mike to meet another family and let him choose. If that isn't screwed up enough, the worker told me there are no other families. She plans to go back to her supervisor and let her know as much and point out that not only is Mike willing but he's met us and likes us already, which should could for a whole lot. Apparently the reasoning from the supervisor is basically she doesn't want to do the work of the interstate compact and have Mike change his mind partway. I understand it's a lot of work, I'm told, but why wouldn't you go ahead and start visits if a child has expressed an interest in a family that is willing to give him a loving home?
Laziness? Bigotry?
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Post by Lugnutz on Apr 6, 2015 12:49:08 GMT -5
Not willing to go the extra mile maybe? Too much work?
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Post by ryanbartlett on Apr 6, 2015 18:16:49 GMT -5
Believe it or not this is why I got into politics, to help good people who were being dicked around.
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Post by JohnInOhio on Apr 19, 2015 10:39:35 GMT -5
Mr. Dabeagle -- Has there been any movement on the boy you were interested in fostering/adopting? There's been no update so I kind of figure nothing is happening.
John
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Post by Dabeagle on Apr 19, 2015 11:30:11 GMT -5
Thanks for prompting me, John! Here's the latest news:
His worker is really irritated with me for tracking h er down and making her do, you know, her job. I don't fully trust the situation, but here's what she said at the time: She feels like our family is a good match for Mike (a match is when they take your family profile and compare it to the child's profile. For instance, a child with a history of problems with pets wouldn't be good in our home). The next step was that our profile and Mike's were to be given to someone who specializes, in their department, in matching older youth. Once that was done the case worker and this other specialist meets with the supervisor to make a recommendation.
At this point is where my prejudice with respect to their previous statements comes in. Should they come back without some concrete reason, I will complain to my Congresspeople and to my state adoption board. Even though they are in PA, they will not be immune - and I base my complaint on the knowledge that the supervisor was unwilling to fill out the paperwork.
Concurrently, my worker should be getting a copy of Mike's profile for us to view in her office. We already know, from the worker, the things that are pertinent about his history so that he would be a good fit - no sexual abuse, no violence, good with pets. You'd be shocked and heartbroken to know how many kids don't meet those points.
Then they will meet and hash out any questions that remain. I asked, practically speaking, what kind of time frame I was looking at. She said that it would likely take the rest of the month (this was on April 7) and we could start visits in May - provided all goes well. So we are anxious for this month to end and get a chance to spend more time with this child!
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Post by JohnInOhio on Apr 19, 2015 20:38:27 GMT -5
I hope they're not going to "procrastinate" because yours is a gay household. I don't know what kinds of protections you have in a case like that. It seems that you got along really well with the young man. You would think they would be happy to be able to place an older youth since they are so hard to place. I know here in Ohio there is very little you could do, especially since we now have a GOP governor and legislature.
I hope all goes well. It seems like everyone wants this to succeed except maybe the worker. 
John
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Post by ryanbartlett on Apr 19, 2015 21:50:16 GMT -5
Yes, let's blame it all on the GOP.
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Post by Dabeagle on Apr 20, 2015 10:04:26 GMT -5
The GOP has a far worse record when it comes to gays, and in states where they control the legislature there is stiffer opposition to equality, but I don't know that to be the case, here. I'm more inclined to think laziness. But, when I speculate, I do have this interesting tidbit to pass on:
When I lived down south while in the navy, I was exposed to an interesting tradition of calling an adult by their first name, accompanied with a 'Mr, Miss' as the situation calls for. Some of the adults used that language, including his worker, with no apparent realization for the 'southern' tradition it comes from. I have to wonder if there are any other 'southern' traditions they brought with them. Time will tell.
I should also note that, here in NY, marriage equality was voted in and the swing vote was Republican Roy McDonnell. While I am very grateful to him and the comments he made while casting his vote, he paid for it by losing his seat to a Republican challenger over that issue.
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Post by PaulR5 on Apr 21, 2015 14:52:34 GMT -5
Is this an interstate compact only between New York and Pennsylvania, or are other states involved as well?
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Post by Dabeagle on Apr 21, 2015 19:51:18 GMT -5
The compact is between the state of origin and the state who would accept the child as a resident - so any state can do this with any other state. In this case, it's between PA and NY.
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Post by Dabeagle on May 15, 2015 15:36:51 GMT -5
After not having my emails or phone calls returned by either the worker or supervisor, and having contacted THEIR supervisor and not having heard back - today I was told that Mike doesn't want to leave the state because he hopes to have contact with his younger brother again.
After the week I've had, I just feel empty.
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Post by Lugnutz on May 15, 2015 17:42:49 GMT -5
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Post by JohnInOhio on May 15, 2015 19:54:35 GMT -5
I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm sure you're not going to give up. I hope things work better for you as you continue our search.
John
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