Lugnutz, I am very happy to hear that Ted and Dan are coming back! I look forward to that.
A lot of Lucien's issues are highlighted in recent stories. For example, in "Cowboy Up"
dabeagle.com/stories/dabeagle/sanitaria_springs/cowboy.htmlwe the following signs, along with others:
"Finally satisfied I head down to breakfast and the family that was on track to adopt me. In the back of my mind I still worried that something would go wrong – that I'd screw up and all this wonderful life would be taken away from me. It was a small but persistent voice and I did my best to ignore it. Living with the Kutsenko's had been such a loving, warm experience that I felt like a crybaby sometimes if I worried or even thought about it too much...."
“Honey, you are going to get noticed today!” my mom said. Accepting her as my mom had been so easy, considering what I'd had to work with before. Mr. Kutsenko had been harder because I had good memories of my dad. He always told me that I should never feel guilty about that, that he was just there because my dad couldn't be. He told me he was honored to have me as his son, which I can't really wrap my head around. It's awfully good for the ego, though....
“Stuff is going on. When Jen asked me to come as her friend tonight she told me Marsha was asking Charlie to do the same. I guess I misunderstood – or was mislead - but I guess he said no. He didn't reply to my text when I told him I'd see him tonight, which is just...not good.” He covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head. “I mean, he tells me things that happened, the progress of his case but...like, he was in court Wednesday and his dad surrendered his parental rights. Can you imagine?” he said, lifting his eyes to mine. “I thought he'd be thrilled for days to leave that guy behind.”
I decided to take this up, where I could be useful, but promised myself to tell him about the flower before he left. “Well, I might know a little about that.”
“Really?”
“With my mom, not so much. But I have some very good memories of my dad. It's been hard getting used to calling Mr. Kutsenko 'dad', even though he puts no pressure on me to do that.” I licked my lips again and glance at his face, which was rapt with attention. “I'd imagine that, whatever his relationship with his dad now, he has some good memories and that's making for some conflict with him; and even though it might make no sense, he may blame himself a little for whatever happened.”
“That's nuts, though. His dad is a douche!” Robin said. He pursed his lips and glanced back at me, “I have to admit, the rest sounds like it could be pretty spot on.”
“There's something else,” I said, only risking the smallest of glances at his face. “Do you know if the people he's with plan to adopt him?”
“They seem to love him and he them. My guess would be that they will, but they haven't discussed it with me. He hasn't talked about it lately, though...” Robin put a hand on my arm and said, “You don't think they are going to get rid of him, do you?”
“I can't know,” I replied. “But let's assume that things are more like what you said – if we assume that they will adopt him, then...” I sighed and looked between my feet as I said, “he may be afraid he's going to do something to screw it up and they won't want him.”
“That's crazy!” Robin laughed. “I don't think they'd give up on him any more than the Kutsenko's would give up on you!”
I stayed quiet, looking down at my shoes.
“Oh man, you can't believe that?”
“Robin...when you have time to think, you can't help but hear that little voice in the dark that says your own family was so fucked up or didn't want you, why do you deserve a new one?” I said quietly. “In his case, he may be wondering if he is damaged so as to have lost his own family and is worried that the people he's with won't follow through and keep him...it's not too much of a stretch for him to think he doesn't deserve the perfect boyfriend, either....”
“So, when you say these things...Lucien, they are going to adopt you. They love you, man.”
“I know. Most of the time,” I say.
“So I guess...if you were Charlie, would you want me to call or come over?”
“If I was Charlie I'd want you there,” I said without hesitation. I closed my eyes, the pain of telling this boy I loved to go to the arms of a friend – his boyfriend - almost too much to bear. “He's doubting himself and his value to you and his family. He's pushing you away, but not because he doesn't love you. It's because he's afraid he doesn't deserve you – all of you. I mean,” I smacked my forehead. “His adoptive family and his relationship with you, personally.”
“Thanks, Lu. This makes a lot of sense, I wish I'd talked to you about it sooner,” he said as he stood. “Kale's on his way to get me, but I should just go right over, right?”....
We also see issues in the next story, "The Ultimate Gift." This post is getting too long. But I agree with everything Dabeagle said above. Sometimes it takes a LONG time to overcome issues, and in is only with the greatest rarity that an issue is overcome at once when a breakthrough is made.