Post by Dabeagle on Apr 16, 2015 19:24:12 GMT -5
There has always been some inequality of the sexes - even tonight my son was teasing a teammate that he'd been beaten by a girl and I had to explain to him why that wasn't the way to tease. But, as was discussed in the recent Sanitaria Springs story, Asher, there exists a disconnect between boys and underage sex and girls - specifically when their partner is of legal age.
Firstly, sex in these circumstances is, in my opinion, wrong. It isn't an equal relationship, the adult has the power, the money, etc. Additionally, the adult is more mature and the child less so. This is not to say younger people can't be attractive in a variety of ways - we have but to look at advertising to prove that to be the case.
But this inequality is far more glaring when it comes to underage boys having sex with adults, specifically when the older person is a woman. The effects of sex in those situations is far ranging and can be mild or severe depending on multiple factors. A man I have known for over twenty years who is now in legal trouble that I won't go into here, but suffice to say it's of a sexual nature. When he was a teen, the woman across the street - in her 30's - would call or pick him up when his parents weren't home and take him places to have sex.
There are two places this inequality shows up - legally and socially.
Legally, women get far more of a slap on the wrist for this behavior - in one recent case a woman actually received sympathy and encouragement from the victim's family and friends! Another case, a judge told the woman she was low hanging fruit and what boy wouldn't try for her? Socially boys are treated as if this doesn't affect them. In some cases the effects may be less noticeable, true. However, the argument that they 'nailed a teacher' and turned out fine is similar to the argument that 'I was spanked as a kid and turned out fine'. Research shows that people who were spanked are more aggressive and more likely to strike out in a physical way, and that includes their kids. Sometimes the effect of this kind of sex is a devaluing of relationships, intimacy and attachment issues that can last a lifetime.
Socially, boys are often treated as heroes, and some adults will point to the fact that the teacher was caught because the child was boasting about having had sex with an adult. That should tell you a lot right there - mature people do not go around boasting they had sex with someone if there is any respect or intimacy involved. Instead this child has learned - and is now in the spotlight for - devaluing their sex partner and treating them as if they were trophies.
Some of these folks arent' even teachers or other professionals you might feel you could trust. Some are other parents, like this lady who slept with her daughters underage ex-boyfriend. How much sleaze does it take to sleep with your child's ex, who is still a child themselves? How about when there are teachers in the school that think a female teacher sleeping with a male student is A-Okay! Imagine how fast that opinion would change if it were an adult male with a male student, or a male adult with a female student - blood would be called for. In each case the central fact is - adults slept with children and it isn't legal, and it just isn't right.
Firstly, sex in these circumstances is, in my opinion, wrong. It isn't an equal relationship, the adult has the power, the money, etc. Additionally, the adult is more mature and the child less so. This is not to say younger people can't be attractive in a variety of ways - we have but to look at advertising to prove that to be the case.
But this inequality is far more glaring when it comes to underage boys having sex with adults, specifically when the older person is a woman. The effects of sex in those situations is far ranging and can be mild or severe depending on multiple factors. A man I have known for over twenty years who is now in legal trouble that I won't go into here, but suffice to say it's of a sexual nature. When he was a teen, the woman across the street - in her 30's - would call or pick him up when his parents weren't home and take him places to have sex.
There are two places this inequality shows up - legally and socially.
Legally, women get far more of a slap on the wrist for this behavior - in one recent case a woman actually received sympathy and encouragement from the victim's family and friends! Another case, a judge told the woman she was low hanging fruit and what boy wouldn't try for her? Socially boys are treated as if this doesn't affect them. In some cases the effects may be less noticeable, true. However, the argument that they 'nailed a teacher' and turned out fine is similar to the argument that 'I was spanked as a kid and turned out fine'. Research shows that people who were spanked are more aggressive and more likely to strike out in a physical way, and that includes their kids. Sometimes the effect of this kind of sex is a devaluing of relationships, intimacy and attachment issues that can last a lifetime.
Socially, boys are often treated as heroes, and some adults will point to the fact that the teacher was caught because the child was boasting about having had sex with an adult. That should tell you a lot right there - mature people do not go around boasting they had sex with someone if there is any respect or intimacy involved. Instead this child has learned - and is now in the spotlight for - devaluing their sex partner and treating them as if they were trophies.
Some of these folks arent' even teachers or other professionals you might feel you could trust. Some are other parents, like this lady who slept with her daughters underage ex-boyfriend. How much sleaze does it take to sleep with your child's ex, who is still a child themselves? How about when there are teachers in the school that think a female teacher sleeping with a male student is A-Okay! Imagine how fast that opinion would change if it were an adult male with a male student, or a male adult with a female student - blood would be called for. In each case the central fact is - adults slept with children and it isn't legal, and it just isn't right.
