Post by Dabeagle on Dec 11, 2015 23:27:36 GMT -5
For about two years we've been looking for a second child. Our first son was adopted just over two years ago and we always thought that he'd benefit from someone to play with and to not be an only child. While everyone has different experiences growing up with siblings or alone, as an only child, I thought it'd be a good idea. With that in mind, we started our search. At times we wondered if it was the right choice, given some of the problems we've had with our son. In fact, for a time, we weren't sure we could handle our son due to his violence.
After two years, we were forced to try medication. It took three tries before we found something that worked without undesirable side effects; we were lucky. No less than 41 children were inquired about. We had conversations with counties from all over the state and had our hearts broken repeatedly when we'd 'get close' and have things fizzle - even so much as 'well, the child is visiting with a local family - but if that doesn't work out, we'll call you!'. Some children couldn't be placed with us due to violence or sexual acts committed on them that they had then committed against others, or had sexualized behaviors that made them unable to share a room or be housed with other kids.
So when we exchanged a few emails with the county for Nick, and the county stopped communicating, we thought we'd hit another dead end. I sent out feelers about 6 other kids who were pre-adoptive from here in NY all the way out to Texas. Then, out of the blue, the county wants to set up a meeting. They say it took them that long to read our three page home study - but, whatever. So we met with them - and we were sold, we wanted to meet him. Rotten background - neglect, abuse. He was a sweet kid and we liked him right away - we knew. The county wanted to move him sooner rather than later, stating that the relationship with his foster mother was poor. They weren't kidding. As soon as we dropped him off the first time, she was all over him. He wasn't the kid we knew, he was beaten down. We were told some of his behaviors come from his rock bottom self esteem - and I could see why. She enforced it every day.
We reached out to the county and asked to speed things up. They initially told us the 22nd, as it was the end of the marking period. We bought a bunk bed, mattress, a few other essentials to get our home ready for him and the visits were a great success. Then, last week, the foster mother told us - and our kids - that he was a 'little Bi-Polar'. She said it twice, to make sure and then she looked at him and said 'they are new, but they'll figure you out'. I pushed hard with the county the next day and told them the 22nd wasn't the end of the marking period, just a break - so they said we could have him as soon as he could start school. I was at the school that morning and we have worked with the school all week to get him set up so that we'd have him from today forward.
So tonight, about 645, he arrived. Excited was not the word. He was bubbling, hugging the dogs - the beagle is his favorite - and then, because chocolate is his favorite, we had a double chocolate cake with raspberry inside and chocolate ice cream. The cake said 'Welcome Home Nick'.
So, yes, our son is home.
After two years, we were forced to try medication. It took three tries before we found something that worked without undesirable side effects; we were lucky. No less than 41 children were inquired about. We had conversations with counties from all over the state and had our hearts broken repeatedly when we'd 'get close' and have things fizzle - even so much as 'well, the child is visiting with a local family - but if that doesn't work out, we'll call you!'. Some children couldn't be placed with us due to violence or sexual acts committed on them that they had then committed against others, or had sexualized behaviors that made them unable to share a room or be housed with other kids.
So when we exchanged a few emails with the county for Nick, and the county stopped communicating, we thought we'd hit another dead end. I sent out feelers about 6 other kids who were pre-adoptive from here in NY all the way out to Texas. Then, out of the blue, the county wants to set up a meeting. They say it took them that long to read our three page home study - but, whatever. So we met with them - and we were sold, we wanted to meet him. Rotten background - neglect, abuse. He was a sweet kid and we liked him right away - we knew. The county wanted to move him sooner rather than later, stating that the relationship with his foster mother was poor. They weren't kidding. As soon as we dropped him off the first time, she was all over him. He wasn't the kid we knew, he was beaten down. We were told some of his behaviors come from his rock bottom self esteem - and I could see why. She enforced it every day.
We reached out to the county and asked to speed things up. They initially told us the 22nd, as it was the end of the marking period. We bought a bunk bed, mattress, a few other essentials to get our home ready for him and the visits were a great success. Then, last week, the foster mother told us - and our kids - that he was a 'little Bi-Polar'. She said it twice, to make sure and then she looked at him and said 'they are new, but they'll figure you out'. I pushed hard with the county the next day and told them the 22nd wasn't the end of the marking period, just a break - so they said we could have him as soon as he could start school. I was at the school that morning and we have worked with the school all week to get him set up so that we'd have him from today forward.
So tonight, about 645, he arrived. Excited was not the word. He was bubbling, hugging the dogs - the beagle is his favorite - and then, because chocolate is his favorite, we had a double chocolate cake with raspberry inside and chocolate ice cream. The cake said 'Welcome Home Nick'.
So, yes, our son is home.
