Do you live in the Springs?

Ah, yes. Ryan did like to say his car broke down in Sanitaria Springs. He always worried that he'd never be able to write anything else and constantly threatened to 'take breaks' and write something else. The trick was, as it happens, not talking to me because when we'd chat, invariably this little town would come up and we'd discuss how one character or another would act in a given situation.

I hope, when I die, I drift off believing I'm having a conversation with my boys. I'm okay if that's how dementia goes, really.

This is a loaded question for me. The times I have written e-mails or postings about these stories I've often felt the need to state that I do know the difference between real life and fiction. I wonder if I feel the need to say that because the stories seems so real to me. OK, I could point out a few things that are maybe unlikely in real life, but I am not going to do that. The reason is that I am so easily able to suspend my disbelief in Sanitaria Springs.

Oh, looking back now, how much do I wish I had had stories like these to read when I was a kid! Stories with positive gay role models might have made a difference in decision I made - and in derisions I was too afraid to make. There were no positive gay role models for me. None. Zero. Maybe it would have made a difference, but who knows?

Anyway, when I read and then sometimes re-read many of these stories, it makes me feel happy for the boys - at least when things turn out well - and it comforts me somehow. Maybe "comforts" isn't the exactly right word there... I remember re-reading one of the stories one evening after a very very long day full of unpleasant things regarding a very serious crisis for one of my own young adult children. It helped me feel some peace for a few minutes during a particularly rough patch. (And yes, I wrote a letter to the author of that story telling him that and thanking him. And I wrote again when the situation with my young adult child came to a positive conclusion.)

Ugh, though! If I say that reading some of these stories is comforting will the authors think I mean worthless drek? I hope not! I think that being able to write a piece which gives someone something to think about, presents positive role models where there used to be none, and offers some entertainment and some peace is a very worthwhile accomplishment. I value these stories quite highly.

So, no, I don't live in the Springs. I hesitate to say that I wish I did live there because I suspect that I need to make some changes in my own real life instead of living in a made-up world. So, no, I don't live there... but I'll admit that there are some times when I wish I did, or more accurately, I wish I had lived in the fictional Springs as a teenager.