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Post by Israfil on Aug 14, 2017 19:14:09 GMT -5
"I swear, I should never have told him my brothers and I were named after kings of England." Oops. There have been three Richards on the throne of England, one John (of ill-starred memory), and no Geoffrey. If the reference was to the sons of Henry II, there were five: William, Henry, Richard, Geoffrey, John. Only two reigned in England. William died in 1156, aged 3 years. Henry, the Young King (crowned at York in 1170 during his father's contretemps with Thomas á Becket), died in 1183 while fighting his father. Geoffrey, Duke of Brittany, died in 1186. Now that I've satisfied my pedantic side, I have to say I like the tale quite well. Fair enough. I actually knew that Geoffrey was never king - I had thought about saying "English royalty" instead so not sure why I went with the phrase as it is. Though Jon might not be aware of the historical specifics, I suspect. I can see him generalizing like that.
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Post by Israfil on Aug 14, 2017 19:17:41 GMT -5
Excellent addition to the Sanitaria Springs group of stories! I really hope to read more about these characters. With the first part, I was finding it pretty difficult to feel any sort of sympathy for Jon, but he managed to redeem himself by the end. I do hope he mamages to hold onto this relationship with Jake. From personal experience, I know it's difficult for some guys who don't identify as exclusively gay to embrace that side of themselves sometimes. Now we need to find someone for Trace. (Someone always seems to be left out in this town! :-) ) Steve T. Never get tired of hearing this haha. Though I also love hearing people's issues with the characters - makes discussion so fun . I can see how Jon could be irritating (ok, yeah he is) but I thought he'd piss off far more people in the second part over his stunt with Trace. He definitely has some issues to work through in accepting his bisexuality or just in general contextualizing his feelings for Jake. Future stories will explore that.
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Post by Dabeagle on Aug 14, 2017 21:31:45 GMT -5
Out of all the Ellesier's I felt Jon was the most....salvageable. I've always told Israfil that Jon was my favorite of his characters and I'm glad we were able to bring him along in an irritatingly believable way. People who need love most often ask for it in the most unloving of ways.
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Post by paul on Aug 14, 2017 21:46:22 GMT -5
We really have a novella here, taking parts 1 and 2 together, and the length serves the narrative well. There are issues here (dare I say tropes) seen in other online gay fiction that in the hands of less proficient authors become highly implausible, often to hasten the arrival of the happily ever after or to get the characters between the sheets as soon as possible or in the opposite direction to drag out the angst and indecision to exasperating length. This is much more interesting and satisfying because all the bumps in the road arise organically from the characters' personalities. I can't say I really like Jon, but he sure is interesting, plus unpredictable. Jake's emotional roller coaster is interesting to watch because it's not the kind of stereotypical author-torturing-his-characters that TV and amateur writers are so fond of, because Jake obviously has a head in his shoulders - his deflation (like a soufflé!) as he listened to Derek was in a way kind of heartbreaking but also reassuring in that it showed he was able to quickly accept reality.
I know we haven't yet gotten the full skinny the Ellesiers' backstory, and I have to wonder how partial or full knowledge of it will affect Jake and his relationship to Jon. Just one reason I look forward to the continuation of the story, another being the just plain excellence of the wordsmithery.
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Post by PaulR5 on Aug 15, 2017 0:09:08 GMT -5
Excellent story. Good way to answer a few questions and set up some others in the background for possible future solutions. I look forward to these.
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Post by DavidAMorse1701 on Aug 15, 2017 2:30:51 GMT -5
I noticed that too, due to Claire's actions, it must have been before Lucien was hurt in Bus Boys. How hypocritical of Claire to go on a tear about family being most important. She clearly put her growing interest in the new foster family's church and her own faith before her love for Lucien. She wasted no time in exposing his sexuality to her foster parents. Any problems in her relationship with Lucien are her own doing and Lucien owes her nothing. It shows his love for Claire that he is even attempting to reconnect after how her actions hurt him. I know speaking so highly of Lucien is a plot to butter me up, David. You may proceed. I've mentioned my affection for Lucien before so I will not refute it. I would love another episode focused on him and Robin. This story's mention of his trouble with Claire reminded me how much I crave more about him. Whenever he's mentioned I am set to wondering what has transpired, what you might have planned. Whenever you decide to conclude his story please no cliffhanger. Give a sense of closure, a real happy ever after, or sense of a new stage of life starting. Marriage to Robin, a look back epilogue on their life, something final. I'd like that for the series too. To quote Q from The Next Generation final, "All Good Things Must Come to an End." I loved Picket Fences. Jon and Jake got together. Nice but these confused Bi boys can cause real heartburn. Trace needs another episode though. Some many great characters. I'll understand if he remains in the background. Definitely Lucien and Robin, Yes Please.
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Post by Sy on Aug 20, 2017 11:02:40 GMT -5
"People who need love..."
This describes the entire Ellesier clan. None of them are particularly sympathetic characters... in large part because their dysfunction hasn't been flesh out with their backstory.
In contrast, the 'boy-next-door' niceness of the Kirkwood boys did not need the happy-family backstory; it is implicit to their characters.
The presence of the Ellesier clan is a strong indication that Sanitaria Springs is not a gay version of 'Leave it to Beaver' picket fences.
Thanks for sharing your writing.
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Post by deville on Aug 25, 2017 13:51:33 GMT -5
Fantastic part two! Really glad that Jon and Jake got together in the end. Jon even ended up being s lot less intimidating than in our previous encounters with him, Jake seems to soften all his edges. Thank you for a great read.
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Post by Israfil on Aug 28, 2017 8:11:57 GMT -5
@sy I was actually hoping you'd chime in here Your summation of the Ellesier clan is pretty spot on. I'm glad they're holding your interest. I'm trying to figure out a way to expand on their background in a narrative friendly way - aka without an extremely lengthy exposition or flashback. deville Happy your enjoyed it Intimidating is an interesting way of putting it - how so? I agree he's enigmatic but yes, Jake does have a calming effect on him to be sure.
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pedro
Young Hound
Posts: 78
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Post by pedro on Sept 19, 2017 1:20:17 GMT -5
Late to the party again, but can I add my two pen'orth?
I appreciated the convoluted way Jon and Jake's relationship developed, but with the Ellesiers it wouldn't be anything other than complicated, would it? I say appreciated because to say 'liked' or 'enjoyed' implies an emotion I don't feel appropriate for our familiy from the dark side. A bit like a psychological thriller that you can't stop watching. So good work guys.
Now what is Geoff going to make of developments and how will his reaction affect Jon and Jake? How stable is their relationship going to be? Will we find out more about the Ellesiers and Richard in particular? Will The Albany/Troy boys turn something up? Will we see more of Trace?
And Micah?
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Post by Dabeagle on Sept 19, 2017 6:56:27 GMT -5
Late to the party again, but can I add my two pen'orth? I appreciated the convoluted way Jon and Jake's relationship developed, but with the Ellesiers it wouldn't be anything other than complicated, would it? I say appreciated because to say 'liked' or 'enjoyed' implies an emotion I don't feel appropriate for our familiy from the dark side. A bit like a psychological thriller that you can't stop watching. So good work guys. Now what is Geoff going to make of developments and how will his reaction affect Jon and Jake? How stable is their relationship going to be? Will we find out more about the Ellesiers and Richard in particular? Will The Albany/Troy boys turn something up? Will we see more of Trace? And Micah? More has been written for Jon and Jake, but there are still scenes to flesh out. The Geoff question will be answered in that 'group' of stories. I say group because this couple has been written in chunks, large scenes and then stitched together. Richard appears but isn't a focal point. The guys headed up north aren't there yet, but even so the Ellesiers are from Boston. Trace is an uncertainty. Micah has his own story in the works.
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Post by paul on Sept 19, 2017 19:05:08 GMT -5
More has been written for Jon and Jake, but there are still scenes to flesh out. The Geoff question will be answered in that 'group' of stories. I say group because this couple has been written in chunks, large scenes and then stitched together. Richard appears but isn't a focal point. The guys headed up north aren't there yet, but even so the Ellesiers are from Boston. Trace is an uncertainty. Micah has his own story in the works. Excellent news all the way around. Thank you, author(s).
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pedro
Young Hound
Posts: 78
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Post by pedro on Sept 20, 2017 0:24:05 GMT -5
More has been written for Jon and Jake, but there are still scenes to flesh out. The Geoff question will be answered in that 'group' of stories. I say group because this couple has been written in chunks, large scenes and then stitched together. Richard appears but isn't a focal point. The guys headed up north aren't there yet, but even so the Ellesiers are from Boston. Trace is an uncertainty. Micah has his own story in the works. Dave, thanks for the update. All will be eagerly awaited although we know any releases ( even if by other authors) are dependent on you being able to fit them in with your other commitments. As has been said elsewhere - your family comes first. We, the readers will just have to be patient. Putting tongue in cheek.... We might even manage to (re-)read and have discussions and give more feedback on other stories already here! Taking tongue out of cheek ... When I suggested the Albany/Troy boys might turn something up, I was maybe thinking of Alex & Sasha who, I think, met Geoff and his (ex-) friend, Virgil, in 'House of Memories'. Nor was, I thinking they would be actively searching for info on the Ellesiers, at not least initially. More on the lines of a casual discovery amongst articles they were looking at for some other reason. I shall just have to wait and see what actually happens.
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Post by Israfil on Sept 20, 2017 9:29:24 GMT -5
Richard is an interesting fellow. He's probably going to get a little more screen time when I go back to writing about Geoff. I want to check in on the middle brother again after writing so much about Jon haha.
That means we're going back to Albany and that'll bring in Alec, Sasha and Vergil. And yes, the family past will resurface, I'm sure.
I really want to work on and get these stories out but I just started grad school this fall so I'm still finding my feet. Writing is really as school allows right now.
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Post by jnwrx1 on Dec 17, 2017 12:46:40 GMT -5
I just finished reading the story set... I've been catching up on a lot.
The level of intrigue and mystery is really great. I'm thinking with Jake's help, Jon may be the only brother who might still be able to have a stable relationship.
This is the kind of romance development I look forward to, as well, where best friends slowly fall in love because they're already committed to life together without consciously realizing at first.
Like Jon was wondering how dating for them would look different since they're always together already. I just always keep wishing I could have had that kind of friend to do everything together with and then slowly get to fall in love.
With the time they've already put into it,it's had time to grow roots. I'm pretty sure they'll be able to knock Geoff out cold if he tries to sabotage them.
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