Su Cuy'gar

Su Cuy'gar story notes


My stories always have several influences throughout their writing. Movies or televisions shows or stories I read can affect the end result of what I am writing because a new idea comes from this influx of information. That idea will be reflected throughout the notes on this short story and, hopefully, illustrate my process – and why it can be so long – in producing a story.

I assign working titles to a lot of my stories, just something to reflect the basic idea for where I want to go. This story started out life as 'Country Time' due to being set in a rural environment. It was going to be my VW Bus story – but while I was playing with the idea, I was reading some of Gee Whillikers stories and thought, well I bet he could bring some good ideas to this! So I sent him the first few pages and he came back with his take on where things were headed. It was really cool, in large part because where you see something going, virtually any one else can see a different – unimagined – route. Of course, I lost that copy (don't start with me) and never mentioned to Gee that I lost it.

Later I decided to adapt the story into something I called 'Note to Self' which made use of the idea of the main character writing notes to himself. Even though I enjoy the level of personal involvement when we have a character that writes in a journal of some type, and allows us to see what's in there that can't be seen by the rest of the world, it comes at a price. Namely that these stories almost always end with the journal falling into the wrong hands and then the aftermath.

I think the only story that comes to immediate mind that handled it in an interesting way was 'Tyler's Dance', but there have been many stories that used this idea. Hand in hand is that the idea of a paper journal is outdated which then leaves us with another tired idea, that of leaving one's computer 'unlocked' or somehow available for someone to catch us out on our internal thoughts. To address this I thought it might be more fun to have the character hand their thoughts to someone they felt they could trust, but who wasn't the 'object' of the journal.

Also in the original version, Quin had a sister who was edited out. This was a headache to do, I was always finding things after multiple revisions that implied her presence. I chose to eliminate her because I couldn't think of a way to make her relevant, other than as a comic relief and I already had the Aunt.

This brings us to Aunt Gabriella who was based on the Shoebox greetings character Maxine, who smokes heavily, drinks coffee in excess and has an acerbic thing or two to say. I borrowed or adapted lines attributed to her out of pure enjoyment.

The beginning of the story was inspired by the movie 'Secondhand Lions'. The movie wasn't what I'd hoped for, but it wasn't bad overall. The story element was that the mother, played by Kyra Sedgwick, dropped her teenage son, played by Haley Joel Osment, off with his 'rumored to be rich' uncles. The uncles were played by Robert Duvall and Michael Caine. I had always thought that the true gem of that movie had been the final scene between Osment and Sedgwick, which I won't spoil here.

Torian's name was, originally, Landon. Landon was a placeholder name – I just couldn't get comfortable with it and it was affecting how I saw the character. Torian got his name because of a video game, Star Wars: The Old Republic (SWTOR) that introduced a neat change in the game play in that your character gets a series of companions that become your crew. One such is Torian Cadera, a young Mandalorian, and dammit he should have been same sex romanceable. Just sayin'. In any case, that's where the name and the Mandalorian idea came from as a story element.

Right away I knew Torian couldn't be the love interest, too obvious. So I introduced Kevin. I had a read an article of someone who was attacked by the person that wanted their affections and I took that idea and adapted it for my own ends. Unfortunately that left me with a quandary – how do I handle the aftermath? Does Kevin claim that Quin came after him? Do we go with the 'I was drunk' defense? I came across an article for a movie, I think it was Kidnapped for Christ, detailing kids that are swept out of their homes by pseudo-military style raids and placed into these brainwashing schools by their parents. I thought this would be a much more interesting idea, and decided to adapt that. The school I modeled this on used to be a school for boys, a work school, that is now a museum of sorts. I found it on Google and used Google Earth to describe the exterior for the story.

Again, feeling that Torian couldn't be revealed yet, I went with Matt. I wanted Matt to be especially pretty, but lacking in empathy – in fact the example of someone who knows they are good looking, have probably been told so all their lives, and it has defined them. In a way I feel sorry for Matt's character because he doesn't really know what he's missing – what Quin realizes for himself – and may not discover it until his looks fade.

Torian's mother is, in fact, a stand in for Cyndi Lauper. I rediscovered some of her songs (ordered discs on ebay) and fed her into it. I also felt that her appearance helped to bring Torian's choice of blue hair into focus – his home obviously being a haven of free expression. I also took the opportunity to plug Camy's book as well as the MD collection, because reasons.

When I started this story I had a list of zingers I wanted to use, and I was happy to have gotten most of them in although I did have to add scenes to make them plausible. At least they worked in my mind. Quin's mother coming back into the picture wasn't something I hadn't planned ahead for, nor the fact of his parentage. I do think that she comes out a bit more sympathetic with the ending she got. The grandmother is a composite of wise, older characters – as Kelly is on the younger side.

Torian's inspiration came from a young man working behind the counter of a chain pharmacy. He had a wonderful face, and his personality was infectious. He was a tad heavy, but he easily countered that with who he was. It served to remind me that tight stomach's and slender appendages aren't the only measure of beauty and so Torian was intentionally described as a bit on the heavier side and, of course, blue hair.

The town mall is based on a concept from my hometown in Redding, California. The Downtown mall was a couple of city blocks with a roof placed over it. It was surreal and cool. Unfortunately the Mt Shasta Mall was built near the same time and had much more desirable stores. The Downtown Mall is having it's roof taken off and a new promenade experience is being promoted.

The play, Oklahoma! By Rogers and Hammerstien, was one I did in high school – and even played the part of Jud. The scene leading up to it was from a version of Note To Self that I had started – and with some tweaking, I was able to insert a chunk of story. The auditorium, as described, was what my own looked like at the time – right down to the spotlight in the back and the hole on the third floor that it shone through.

The teachers from the play have been used by me before, I think. At least the male. I had a high school business teacher who had long curly blond hair and wore sunglasses and red Reebok's to school. He stood in front of his room with a hockey stick, minus the blade, and surveyed the hallways as if he were a much more imposing man than he was. He was funny, one time throwing his hockey stick through the speaker at the back of his room – the Vice Principal had interrupted his class one too many times. He was rumored to have 'parted some kids hair' with the thrown stick at one time as well. The last time I saw him he said he was going through a second childhood and couldn't wait for puberty to hit again.

Mrs Harikova was know to us as Mrs K, and she was as described. One of the janitors, a fellow with a bum leg and a wandering eye, once told me she had a body that just wouldn't quit. It was a confusing phrase. She had a son with the blond hair, high cheekbones - but that's where the resemblance to Matt stopped. He had a very good, strong character and I wished I'd known him better when I had the chance.