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Post by jkeele on Feb 24, 2020 19:32:27 GMT -5
Once again, Dave, you've hit it out of the park. The first chapter definitely made me want more! I'm hooked!
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Post by James Merkin on Feb 25, 2020 10:18:17 GMT -5
I remember a 'Whispering Corner' as a tourist in a couple of churches in England, where I was careful to watch my heathen tendency to shoot off my mouth. But to have that in a boys' locker room! A worse threat to the potential for self-reveal than letting my towel slip...
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Post by Steve T. on Feb 25, 2020 19:13:05 GMT -5
Good start! Although this has the potential to be a tear-jerker with the dead twin. Looking forward to more.
Steve T.
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Corners
Feb 26, 2020 12:51:54 GMT -5
Post by Dabeagle on Feb 26, 2020 12:51:54 GMT -5
I'm pleased everyone seems to like it so far. James, I was thinking of Grand Central Station, as they are also a prominent example of the whispering arch architecture.
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Post by jkeele on Mar 3, 2020 8:19:47 GMT -5
Chapter two was excellent, as I knew it would be. I haven't decided yet if the father is a drug dealer or just an incredible asshole. Maybe both. Thanks, Dave!
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Post by PaulR5 on Mar 3, 2020 12:59:21 GMT -5
I am liking this story. I am interested in learning more about Nathaniel.
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Post by UK Guest on Mar 3, 2020 16:26:35 GMT -5
WOW!
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Post by jnwrx1 on Mar 20, 2020 1:45:34 GMT -5
Just read chapter 5
I was instantly reminded of The Farm Boy by Cole Parker which has a similar scene.
Why did Ethan go in there without a weapon? Didn't he remember the party?
I want a Mason of my own.
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Post by Nico Gray on Mar 21, 2020 0:47:36 GMT -5
Corners is off to a very promising start. In Ethan we find a protagonist who is fairly sympathetic, yet sufficiently nuanced and complex enough to be interesting, realistic and just a bit frustrating. Two friends who have their own internal and social conflicts that add to the reader's engagement. A large number of questions to answer about the deceased twin brother and his relationship with Ethan. Conflicts in Ethan's dysfunctional relationships with his three living family members, a school bully, and apparently anyone that Ethan comes into contact with through his socially challenged best friend, Mason. The mysterious Nathaniel- rather adept for a little guy at both finding and managing trouble- who appears to have some sort of particular interest in Ethan. And dear old dad's sketchy business activities and his insistence on dragging Ethan into the middle of them. There are a lot of interesting conflicts and questions here to immerse readers in the story and pull them toward whatever resolution is awaiting. It should keep readers enthusiastically involved, eager to find out what's going to happen next. Nicely done!
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Corners
Mar 21, 2020 2:16:01 GMT -5
Post by Dabeagle on Mar 21, 2020 2:16:01 GMT -5
Corners is off to a very promising start. In Ethan we find a protagonist who is fairly sympathetic, yet sufficiently nuanced and complex enough to be interesting, realistic and just a bit frustrating. Two friends who have their own internal and social conflicts that add to the reader's engagement. A large number of questions to answer about the deceased twin brother and his relationship with Ethan. Conflicts in Ethan's dysfunctional relationships with his three living family members, a school bully, and apparently anyone that Ethan comes into contact with through his socially challenged best friend, Mason. The mysterious Nathaniel- rather adept for a little guy at both finding and managing trouble- who appears to have some sort of particular interest in Ethan. And dear old dad's sketchy business activities and his insistence on dragging Ethan into the middle of them. There are a lot of interesting conflicts and questions here to immerse readers in the story and pull them toward whatever resolution is awaiting. It should keep readers enthusiastically involved, eager to find out what's going to happen next. Nicely done! That's quite a lot to say! I hope the est of the chapters bear out the sentiments begun in this thread!
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Corners
Mar 21, 2020 12:53:49 GMT -5
Post by Nico Gray on Mar 21, 2020 12:53:49 GMT -5
I'm afraid I've never been one for using ten words when a hundred will do. (SPOILER ALERT! This post will probably be loooonnngggg!) But to sum up briefly, I have really enjoyed the first five chapters of Corners and see lots of promise for that to continue. There is plenty of conflict, a number of mysteries to resolve, and they all seem to be integrated well with each other. So I expect the story to hold together nicely as you answer the questions you have raised in readers' minds.
And now it gets long. First, I owe you an apology.... and a fair amount of praise. Poking around this site over the past month, I realized it's getting on two years since I last spent much time here. You write well and your stories are frequently interesting to me. I don't know how I managed to get distracted from visiting for so long.
The apology. I realize that I haven't done my part in this author-reader relationship. I've read and enjoyed a lot of your work but really don't post here often enough to let you know that. You deserve better. So in case I don't do my part by posting my thoughts in the appropriate BB threads, I'll share a comment or two here. During my recent visit I read Family and found an interesting story. It was an entertaining read. The characters likable and drawn clearly enough to engage readers. The happy ending was particularly satisfying because we cared about the characters you created. I also read Things We Lost and Things We Found. I really enjoyed both and plan to write something more substantial in the appropriate threads if I can motivate my lazy butt to do so. Both stories were very engaging and deserve more than a brief 'well done!'.
And more praise. I discovered LGBT fiction about eight years ago while poking around various corners of the internet, looking for help with a problem that had developed in my own writing. And since I had worked for a number of years with EBD youth, the stories I found in LGBT fiction were engaging as well as helpful with my own writing. In recent years I've found myself thinking back to a number of those stories I read and considering re-reading a few. Bit in a number of cases, much as I had enjoyed the story, I couldn't recall the title or even the name of the author. So I was very pleased, and shouldn't have been the least bit surprised, to discover during my recent time here that several of those stories were yours. I hope to find time to devote at least a few lines to each in the appropriate BB thread. But in case I don't, I do want to thank you here for several very enjoyable stories and some memorable characters and plot lines that stuck with me for years, even if the title and your authorship of them didn't.
I really enjoyed reading (and now re-reading) Quantum, Life In A Northern Town and Forever December. Forever December, in particular, just really appealed to my personal sensibilities and philosophy. There was a feeling of cosmic balance and a sense of eternal hope that I drew from a fairly simple story of a man who had suffered a devastating loss, spent years in emotional limbo, and finally was presented with an opportunity to recapture that sense of hope and building for a future and pass it on to another person in need. It was very nicely done. But the story that particularly haunted my recollections, and frustrated my desire to revisit it, was The Meaning of Living. I can't tell you how many times I found myself thinking about that story and trying to remember where I had seen it. I was a really appealing story about a young person who was led a bit astray, in part by his own lack of sense of himself, had an opportunity to have his mind opened, and was able to connect firmly with that decent person inside himself and build a stronger sense of self to keep him on a positive course in the future. It was an exceptional story!
And hopefully I'll find time to leave a few remarks in each of the threads for those stories. But if I don't, I do want you to know that I really appreciate that you shared such enjoyable fruits of your labor with us. Thank you!
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Post by Dabeagle on Mar 22, 2020 0:11:19 GMT -5
That's a lot to unpack, Nico! I appreciated getting to read it. Funny story - whenever I'm on a message board that has a thread like 'Looking for old story i read, can't remember....etc' I always look to see if it was one of mine! I've been writing online nearly 20 years, so I've got a story or three out there. Always look forward to hearing from readers - thank you!
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Post by Nico Gray on Mar 22, 2020 15:04:26 GMT -5
Dabeagle. Helping to alleviate the tedium of social distancing one chapter at a time.
Six is another engaging chapter. A little character development. A little plot development. It continues to feel like this story is going to come together in a well-coordinated and interesting conclusion. Direction and pace are very effective. It's like watching a puzzle put itself together.
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Post by Dabeagle on Mar 22, 2020 15:31:38 GMT -5
Dabeagle. Helping to alleviate the tedium of social distancing one chapter at a time. Six is another engaging chapter. A little character development. A little plot development. It continues to feel like this story is going to come together in a well-coordinated and interesting conclusion. Direction and pace are very effective. It's like watching a puzzle put itself together. That's high praise. Thank you!
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Post by Steve T. on Mar 22, 2020 15:53:02 GMT -5
You're teasing us, aren't you? :-)
I've gone from feeling like I have no idea what's going on to learning a little. Love the fact we're getting more about Ethan's father and Nathaniel, but ready for more. Looking forward to Wednesday or Thursday when we get a little but more!
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