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Post by Neal on Dec 18, 2023 3:53:03 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 9
I really like this story. This chapter was interesting to me because of the relationships between Rion and Bry, Rion and Claudio and Bry and Marina.
My favorite understatement and sentence were both from Bry. They speak to me because they tell of the strong bond between Rion and Bry.
“You still want me though, right? My ego needs that.” and “So it starts. First you don't want to sleep with me anymore, now you don't tell me everything. Where will it end, Rion? Where, I ask you?” I really like Bry!
The scenes in the kitchen give me hope that Claudio is correct in his belief that his parents will still love him when they find out. But Claudio strikes me as a glass half full kind of guy. I'm a cynical realist kind of guy. The glass is twice as big as it needs to be. So, I am anxious to see how his family reacts when the inevitable happens.
Needless to say, I anxiously awaiting next week's installment.
Thanks, Dave
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Post by Neal on Dec 29, 2023 23:38:15 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 10
And the fecal matter hits the rotating object!
"At least until the guy started yelling. Then pulling on my shoulder, breaking our kiss."
Yay to Marina and Mauricio
Yay to Bry. “Finally someone recognizes us for the bad asses we are.” There are several "Bry" sentences that I love. You'll have to read this chapter and see for yourself.
Yay to Rion's mom. “Jesus take the wheel, do not let Bry drive. You'll arrive at Mach one and in six pieces. That boy,” she said, trailing off.
Yay to Rion's grandparents. Ok, and Bry's mom too.
Great chapter. Thanks Dave.
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Post by dgt224 on Dec 30, 2023 1:31:45 GMT -5
Yay to Bry's mom. “Jesus take the wheel, do not let Bry drive. You'll arrive at Mach one and in six pieces. That boy,” she said, trailing off. Just to exercise my picky proofreader muscles - it looks like you spelled "Rion" wrong. (It's Rion's mom who says that.) I'm inclined to think that a strong case could be made for as Bry's best line in chapter 10.
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Post by Neal on Jan 1, 2024 6:54:48 GMT -5
Yay to Bry's mom. “Jesus take the wheel, do not let Bry drive. You'll arrive at Mach one and in six pieces. That boy,” she said, trailing off. Just to exercise my picky proofreader muscles - it looks like you spelled "Rion" wrong. (It's Rion's mom who says that.) I'm inclined to think that a strong case could be made for as Bry's best line in chapter 10. Ooops! I copy and paste to a word document a lot of thoughts. Then I copy and paste to my comments after I decide what to use in the comments. I think I "cut" somethings and missed the mark. I did edit and change names in my review... for future readers. Part of me wanted to include a lot more "favorites" but I decided for brevities sake to just mention there were a lot more good bits in the story.
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Post by Neal on Jan 5, 2024 5:20:59 GMT -5
Hmmmm??? It is Friday morning and I just noticed that what I thought I posted as a review of the final chapter isn't here. Maybe I didn't click "Create Post" before logging out. I don't know.
I didn't save the temporary document that had all my thoughts. I usually don't, old habit to save disk space.
My thoughts on the final chapter were that it was well done. I didn't like that the story ended, but I liked the way it ended.
These are characters I'd like to see again in another story.
Thanks Dave.
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Post by glh on Jan 5, 2024 23:33:17 GMT -5
... I didn't like that the story ended, but I liked the way it ended. These are characters I'd like to see again in another story. Thanks Dave. I'll second those sentiments.
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Post by giantk9 on Feb 17, 2024 19:41:42 GMT -5
I really enjoyed this story, but especially the final chapter. Rion's grandparents reminded me so much of my first encounter with a dear friend's grandparents. Being raised in a pretty uptight family (like Claudio's) and not having any living grandparents myself, I had never experienced older people who were so welcoming, loving, and accepting of who their grandchildren were. They quite literally changed my view of "family" and myself. Thanks for the memories!
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