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Post by Neal on Oct 24, 2023 4:28:49 GMT -5
Wow. Great beginning to an interesting story. Dialogue is a little saltier than your SS stories. I like it. I like Rion and Bryson a lot. Their Moms are great!
I identified immediately with his grampa. I used to be bad about... filling in what at the time seemed like pertinent information. I started to note blank stares and would stop myself and say "Whoops! I digress." when I realized I had gone off on a tangent. Possibly about the time my grandson said "Grampa, you're so random!"
Favorite understatement: "She stood there pointing at me with her Serious Face(tm) on."
I liked the bit about Rion's name.
Favorite sentence; “Wow. I feel like a Chihuahua just threatened my ankle.”
I'm very interested to see what happens with Rion and Bryson. I can't decide if I want BFFs forever or a couple to evolve. So far, I like the moms, but Bryson's dad is starting out as an A**hole. The cliff hanger gives me hope he might change.
Thanks for a great read.
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Post by Neal on Oct 30, 2023 4:10:05 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 2
First thought is Bryson's dad is an asshole!
I'm really liking this story. I like Rion's mom even more now. Bryson's mom is good too.
Favorite sentence: "Come on in. Take your underwear off and stay a while,” he said with a snicker."
Favorite understatement: “Probably have to stick with what they're good at.”
Sentence I can identify with: "I like trees and nature, but I also like to see something other than trees." Years of living and driving in the Northeast came back to me.
A lot happened in this chapter, and it just makes me want more. Bryson and Rion's relationship and characters are developing in a nice way. I'm very interested in how they work out.
Great story so far, Dave. Thank you.
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Post by dgt224 on Nov 4, 2023 0:22:29 GMT -5
I'm with Neal on this one. Great read, and Bryson's dad is definitely an asshole!
Does need better proofreading. In chapter 2:
That should be “Orecchiette”. At least, that's the traditional spelling, if the World Wide Web is to be believed. (What? You didn't think I actually knew that, did you?)
Missing a closing quotation mark after the comma.
There are days when it really annoys me that my eyes insist on tripping over stuff like that.
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Post by Dabeagle on Nov 4, 2023 15:18:47 GMT -5
It's funny how they stand out so much more once they are posted LOL
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Post by Neal on Nov 5, 2023 23:58:30 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 3 Interesting chapter. Favorite sentence: "I have to find someone to share all that life stuff with besides you, because we're not fucking in this lifetime.” Favorite understatement: “Why do you look shocked? I sent my dog after you! I'm not giving up that easy!” OCD moment: What happened to Rion's mother's gift? Did he leave it in the sand? Did he just not feel like talking about carrying it the rest of the day? Claudio is an interesting development. Shana is interesting in the way a storm coming is interesting. Bryson's dad is an interesting allegory about current events. I wonder if he wears a red ball cap? I am eagerly awaiting more of this story. ********************* Regarding dgt224's comment. It is all because of Autocorrects devious plan. It corrects things when you are looking at them and changes them back when you hit send! Just look at your text messuages if you don't believe me.  |
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Post by Neal on Nov 14, 2023 5:21:45 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 4
Very Interesting chapter. Things got really interesting!
Favorite sentence: She laughed. “I promised not to compare you to him.”
Favorite understatement: “Don't forget to wash your hands,”
Great chapter Dave. I'm eagerly awaiting next Sunday's chapter.
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May be some of you already knew this but I learned something new while reading this chapter. I use Microsoft Edge as my browser, on a Desk top PC, so I don't know if this will work similarly with other browsers or on tablets or phones. I used to cut and paste to a search engine for translations and definitions. This is so much easier.
I'll try it here with this sentence. (Edit: Wasn't sure when I typed this here, but it did work.)
“No debes asumir que nadie más puede entenderte.” Kim looked at Marina and Claudio with both her eyebrows slightly raised.
First, highlight the Spanish language bit. “No debes asumir que nadie más puede entenderte.” Kim looked at Marina and Claudio with both her eyebrows slightly raised.
Second, left click the highlighted bit. Then select translate from the drop-down menu and click it.
Result: “You shouldn't assume that no one else can understand you.” Kim looked at Marina and Claudio with both her eyebrows slightly raised.
The text will revert back to the original Spanish text after you leave the page but stays translated while you are still on the page. (Edit: I had to copy and paste to a word document and then copy and paste that back here to get it to stay changed for this.)
I am curious if this works on Apple or Android devices.
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Post by dgt224 on Nov 14, 2023 16:54:47 GMT -5
I am curious if this works on Apple or Android devices. On my Android phone, no. When I select a sentence in Firefox, it pops up a menu that doesn't include a Translate option. I have to tap Search in the pop-up menu and then Translate on the Google search page it takes me to, then the Back icon when I've read the translation. The process is similar in Chrome, except that the pop-up menu has a Translate option. Tapping that takes me directly to a page that shows me the translation, then I have to do the Back thing to get back to the story. Edge on Android does the same thing as Chrome. Translate-in-place doesn't seem to be an available option. |
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Post by paul on Nov 16, 2023 0:35:22 GMT -5
First, highlight the [foreign] language bit Second, left click the highlighted bit. Then select translate from the drop-down menu and click it I am curious if this works on Apple or Android devices. I've been doing this with Safari on iPad for quite some time. No doubt works similarly on iMac with current Mac OS and Safari versions, but mine of both are old. |
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Post by Neal on Nov 16, 2023 4:33:43 GMT -5
Thank you to dgt224 and Paul for your feedback.
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Post by glh on Nov 20, 2023 0:44:33 GMT -5
I read it through AGAIN today and finished it this evening. Yes, I know it's only been seven weeks since I finished it the first time, but ADD among other things, is a thing.
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Post by Neal on Nov 20, 2023 4:39:24 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 5
Another great chapter. I liked the beginning, the end, and the middle in that order.
Bry and Rion on the beach was well done. Favorite sentence from the beginning is "He looked back at me. “You kept quiet for us.”"
Favorite sentence from the end is "“You haven't had the right kind of sex,” Kim said to him before looking back to me expectantly."
Favorite sentence from the middle is. “Okay, high school Spanish was too long ago for me,” Bry's mom said. “Tell me, you dangerously handsome thing, all about yourself.”"
Favorite understatement is. "“I just didn't want you to burn,” I said trying to sound innocent."
I really liked the chapter. There are a lot of interesting things going on. A lot of clever sentences and some interesting societal observations. The fat guy on the beach and Michael are assholes. Shanna needs to go. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Thanks Dave
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Post by Neal on Nov 27, 2023 5:03:49 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 6
A fun chapter this time. I liked it. A little bit of concern/tension as they were heading to the family gathering.
Favorite sentence. “Exactly. Don't want your memories of me damaged by the shrinkage going on here.”
Favorite understatement. “The guy had on an ankle monitor.”
I like the way things are going for the guys and am looking forward to the next chapter.
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Post by Neal on Dec 4, 2023 4:47:41 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 7
Wow, Dave, very interesting chapter.
Favorite understatement is a toss up between “Classy and desperate all in one,” and “No one is that serious.” And there are several others pertaining to Bryson's dad that were worthy of note (and a chuckle).
I liked the whole "Tool Kit" allegory scene and the scenes where Bryson and Rion spoke of their relationship.
Favorite sentence was "Not getting out of the ride share when the area looked skeevy."
The story got really interesting and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Thanks
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Post by Neal on Dec 12, 2023 17:45:04 GMT -5
Pupuseria Mia 8
Oooh! Things got interesting. I liked it. The main characters are all so interesting to me.
Favorite sentence: “We'll talk later about how you were willing to throw my love life under the bus to save your boy.”
Favorite understatement: “Look who decided to get observant!”
Favorite sentence from the character I can identify with: “He shouldn't hear his sainted grandmother talk like that! He'll wonder about the company you're keeping with that potty mouth!”
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
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Post by Dabeagle on Dec 12, 2023 19:39:58 GMT -5
Thank you sop much for your consistent comments, Neal!
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