Post by Dabeagle on Feb 21, 2015 12:52:10 GMT -5
My husband and I have been foster parents for three years and adopted our son from foster care in November of 2013. THe kids who come through the system can be very tough to deal with - the popular term is challenging - but these kids have frequently been through things that easily explain why they interact with the world the way they do.
Not that it makes it easier. Recently we looked at a boy in California who was taken away from his father because he would wrap the boy in duct tape at night and put him in a dog crate and stuff a sock in his mouth. The boy is up for adoption, but his issues are so severe we don't think we could handle him. On the one hand, it's very sad because he obviously needs so much love and help. On the other hand, you have to know your limits and if you're looking at a placement and really not sure you can handle it, then you talk to people to see if you can figure it out. In the end we followed our gut - and the fact that we have a child in the house - and weren't able to take this child in.
Foster parents get a bad rap, a lot of times from the sensationalized press. A child gets removed from parents who can't raise them and is put into the system. Foster parents who have been trained and have support try to make a difference in their lives.
But just as with the police, firemen, other agents of good - there are bad apples. These are the ones that give the rest of us a bad name. Now, it seems, there is a for profit program called Mentor Inc that makes money off these kids suffering. This article highlights two instances where their background checks were so shoddy that they ended in multiple abuse situations, sexual, physical and even death.
Let me say up front, it's not for everyone. I've been kicked, punched, slapped and had spit in my face. That's the extreme end. Most times it's attitude and resisting guidance. It's not easy and these kids that need love so badly will ask for it in the most unlovely ways. But there is a burden that falls on the agencies, as well, to do appropriate background checks to ensure that the people that are taking care of these kids are fit to do so - that they don't have drug arrests, etc. Then, of course, is the follow through to ensure these folks don't ever end up with kids in their home.
Read the article. Do some research. Consider opening your home to a child in need - after all, no matter who you are, you can't be worse than these folks.
Read this.
Not that it makes it easier. Recently we looked at a boy in California who was taken away from his father because he would wrap the boy in duct tape at night and put him in a dog crate and stuff a sock in his mouth. The boy is up for adoption, but his issues are so severe we don't think we could handle him. On the one hand, it's very sad because he obviously needs so much love and help. On the other hand, you have to know your limits and if you're looking at a placement and really not sure you can handle it, then you talk to people to see if you can figure it out. In the end we followed our gut - and the fact that we have a child in the house - and weren't able to take this child in.
Foster parents get a bad rap, a lot of times from the sensationalized press. A child gets removed from parents who can't raise them and is put into the system. Foster parents who have been trained and have support try to make a difference in their lives.
But just as with the police, firemen, other agents of good - there are bad apples. These are the ones that give the rest of us a bad name. Now, it seems, there is a for profit program called Mentor Inc that makes money off these kids suffering. This article highlights two instances where their background checks were so shoddy that they ended in multiple abuse situations, sexual, physical and even death.
Let me say up front, it's not for everyone. I've been kicked, punched, slapped and had spit in my face. That's the extreme end. Most times it's attitude and resisting guidance. It's not easy and these kids that need love so badly will ask for it in the most unlovely ways. But there is a burden that falls on the agencies, as well, to do appropriate background checks to ensure that the people that are taking care of these kids are fit to do so - that they don't have drug arrests, etc. Then, of course, is the follow through to ensure these folks don't ever end up with kids in their home.
Read the article. Do some research. Consider opening your home to a child in need - after all, no matter who you are, you can't be worse than these folks.
Read this.
