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Post by Lugnutz on Sept 7, 2015 6:28:50 GMT -5
I'm not sure if I tweaked anyone with my attitude or not. Believe me that it was never intentional.
I was told that I need to be less self centered and not into myself. Maybe I've been trapped in my head for far too long and need to learn to be human again instead of someone you may not like.
I needed to get with friends more. I just don't want to be a third wheel or to have someone to always cover things. It's not right. I also don't want to be anyone's charity case. But, I won't turn down friendly help.
I'm still learning to ask for help. Bear with me. I know I can be a pain in the ass.
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Post by Lugnutz on Sept 7, 2015 19:56:36 GMT -5
I may not know where I am screwing up, literally. Don't sugar coat responses.
I need to sort this out. I didn't know I was being an asshole. I don't want to be an asshole either. My brothers finally got thru my thick head that I was not nice a couple days ago. It took them a few months to finally make some sense in my head. I finally got it, and that's the reason of this thread. Air out the demons and get my head right.
Help a brother out?
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Post by Dabeagle on Sept 7, 2015 20:11:52 GMT -5
I think that if someone has an issue with you, Lug, a public forum isn't the place.
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Post by Lugnutz on Sept 7, 2015 20:19:06 GMT -5
Even a PM here or elsewhere is fine. I'm getting things out of my head.
Here is one response in my off road club.
I don't know you personally and haven't really been on here lately to see anything. What I do know is it takes a lot of person to admit to stuff like this as well as being willing to change. Best of luck as you sort things out.
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Post by Lugnutz on Sept 8, 2015 5:58:49 GMT -5
If both of my brothers wanted to abandon me, I have a problem.
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Post by Dabeagle on Sept 8, 2015 6:59:35 GMT -5
When people have serious issues like MS, their worldview has to change to one of self preservation. Years ago my step father was confined to a wheelchair. It used to drive me nuts how you couldn't talk to the guy without him telling you to do several things for him, and they had to be just so - not even asking. For him, the reality was that he couldn't do these things himself and had to put those needs up front. I don't know if that's the case with you, but it's something to consider.
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Post by Lugnutz on Sept 8, 2015 8:43:16 GMT -5
It's like car guys vs non car guys. One doesn't get the other. For me, it was no longer dark and suicidal. I'm on a little medication for that now. I'm seeing the positive side of things for the first time in years instead of dwelling on the negative. We joked with the kids last weekend that they would be the remote control now. You know how it was. I can see how your father worked now. I need that help on occasion now. I wanted to turn it down and do the guy thing of not asking. I still need to work on it.
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Post by ricky on Sept 29, 2015 5:06:13 GMT -5
If I may offer this bit of dialog. It's tough to face getting a fucked up hand in life. We can't justify it; we can't see why we "deserved" what we got. But we have what we have. So we go on. When it's mess up enough we can get resentful and shortly thereafter bitterness sets in. A lot of people get stuck right there.
A very wise man who is now long gone once told me something when I was a teen. His name was Dan Yokum. He was the most unusual person I had ever known. I never saw him speak to anyone without a smile on his face. It was infectious. I can't remember ever seeing him without that smile. He could stand in line behind you in a grocery store and you would know he was there before you ever saw him. He had an aura about him that would prickle the hair on your neck. And you'd just know if you turned around you were going to see that smile.
He said, everyone in life is given the same amount of misery, it just shows more in some. And that set me to thinking. He has it all. He must, I've never seen him without that smile. So I asked him about it. He proceeded to tell me about his life. There was a lot of tragedy. And a whole lot of pain. Lost children, was losing his wife to illness, his house was in foreclosure, medical bills he knew he could never pay. The list went on. I was stunned. I said, but you always have a smile.
He said, so do you? I said, no. But your smile just sorta makes me have to smile. His smile got wider. He said, I live off of the smiles I can make others have. I look at other people who seem to have no problems and have everything going for them and then realize I'm seeing what they want the world to see. Some of them live in a daily hell and let it consume them. They have "things" They may have money and no bills, but their home life sucks, they fight and there is no happiness. I just sorta looked at him. I wasn't getting it and he knew it. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze so that I would look at him, John it I let the misery consume me, if I came in here every day showing the misery that is part of my life people would avoid me. I would be alone and even more miserable. I would be spreading the misery. That would make my life even worse. But I have friends. I make you forget your own miseries for just a bit. When I do that, you smile. When you smile back, it lifts My misery. It spreads goodness that lets us all get through today. And that lets us deal better with tomorrow. Stay positive no matter what. Don't base your happiness on what goes on in your life or what happens too you. Happiness comes from within. It's like integrity, it can't be taken from you, it has to be given away. Life is sometimes enjoying the space between your miseries and when you have to deal with them. When you have to deal with them, the smile reminds you that a space is just ahead.
I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me throughout my life. Thanks for making me remember, there's a space just up ahead. ;-)
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