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Post by simonuk on Oct 9, 2016 7:15:27 GMT -5
I'm one of the guilty reader who enjoys the stories massively but fails to respond but I will endeavour to do so from hereon in.I absolutely loved this story Alec, right from the very beginning of the SS saga, has been one of my favourite characters and as has already been mentioned his growing maturity is great to see. I cant wait to see how Micah reacts upon meeting the Family over the summer.I imagine Lu will become 'big brother' and I'm sure Asher and Austin will be able to share some words of wisdom with him given their somewhat similar experiences and maybe he and Jamie(my absolute favourite character btw!)will be in competition for the most industrial language!! Anyway , apologies Dave for not participating previously and please please please keep giving me my SS fix - I love these guys 😁 x
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Post by jkeele777 on Oct 9, 2016 21:41:25 GMT -5
Dave,
First, I want to apologize for being remiss in letting all of my favorite authors, here and elsewhere, know how much I appreciate their efforts. I liked this story for a number of reasons, but mostly because it gives you hope. I was a street kid who nobody rescued, many years ago, and it's been a long hard road. Twenty five years ago, when I was fourteen, and strung out and living on the streets, I may have felt differently about it, but now, it gives me hope that people have evolved a bit and would be willing to help to this degree. Thank you.
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 10, 2016 0:37:36 GMT -5
I'm one of the guilty reader who enjoys the stories massively but fails to respond but I will endeavour to do so from hereon in.I absolutely loved this story Alec, right from the very beginning of the SS saga, has been one of my favourite characters and as has already been mentioned his growing maturity is great to see. I cant wait to see how Micah reacts upon meeting the Family over the summer.I imagine Lu will become 'big brother' and I'm sure Asher and Austin will be able to share some words of wisdom with him given their somewhat similar experiences and maybe he and Jamie(my absolute favourite character btw!)will be in competition for the most industrial language!! Anyway , apologies Dave for not participating previously and please please please keep giving me my SS fix - I love these guys 😁 x Thanks for joining up and sharing, Simonuk! Alec is quite a character all right, sometimes I don't even know what he's going to do next. I think it will be interesting, too, to see who or if Micah attaches to anyone. Sometimes kids with his background have a difficult time making friends. I think most of his issues will be social/emotional. Jamie is your favorite? Ryan would have liked you hehe. Ryan had talked to me about a path he intended for Jamie to take and I may try to walk him down that. I'm glad you broke your silence! Welcome to the boards!
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 10, 2016 0:40:32 GMT -5
Dave, First, I want to apologize for being remiss in letting all of my favorite authors, here and elsewhere, know how much I appreciate their efforts. I liked this story for a number of reasons, but mostly because it gives you hope. I was a street kid who nobody rescued, many years ago, and it's been a long hard road. Twenty five years ago, when I was fourteen, and strung out and living on the streets, I may have felt differently about it, but now, it gives me hope that people have evolved a bit and would be willing to help to this degree. Thank you. Your message breaks my heart. My kids have had difficult pasts and still face an unsure future. At some point they must make the mental journey you've completed, realizing that at some point we have to look to better ourselves because we're the only ones that actually can do that. The entire point of Sanitaria Springs is hope. There are people willing to help (even if we occasionally question our sanity for doing so). I dearly wish we could have helped you. Thanks for sharing that.
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 10, 2016 0:45:11 GMT -5
Thank you for continuing this thread of the story. I have been waiting for Micah to show up. I really like how Alec understands that one of the ways to change the foster care system is from within. I also like how he was very clear with his parents about Micah being his and Sasha's responsibility. Parenting ain't always easy, it is well worth it work. I'm pleasantly surprised at how many people have been waiting for Micah to make his appearance! Sometimes when you write something like that, not knowing yourself when that story will come to pass, it's easy to imagine it went unnoticed. Or at least that it won't matter. How exciting, though, to hear how many people made the connection and were actually waiting to meet this kid! Alec is, and I think always has been, responsible. At least with the big things. He works very hard not to let anyone down and to try not to hurt anyone. I don't think he has a mean bone in his body, in fact except for never being able to fogive Billy Carlisle, I'd say he likes practically everyone. Or he's really good at tolerating them He'll do the work with Micah, but don't think for a second that kid will make it easy!
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Post by Nick Deverill on Oct 11, 2016 10:11:03 GMT -5
He'll do the work with Micah, but don't think for a second that kid will make it easy! Indeed. I've been thinking about this one and the issue that strikes me is that Micah has probably never had a proper family life. The story covers hugs, but has he even seen a birthday celebrated in the way most kids expect? And Christmas? 'The Kid' by Charlie Chaplin in 1921 come to mind. To me, it's one of the few films that illustrate 'pathos' in the way it should be done. The film 'Mary Poppins' has its moments too, despite being overplayed for the most part. A muted brass ensemble plays:
Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's The little old bird woman comes In her own special way to the people she calls Come, buy my bags full of crumbs
Come feed the little birds, show them you care And you'll be glad if you do Their young ones are hungry Their nests are so bare All it takes is tuppence from you
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag, Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag "Feed the birds, " that's what she cries While overhead, her birds fill the skies
etcAnd if you think about it, that scene alone is a box of Kleenex in its own right. Probably though, most folk don't see it for what it is.
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 11, 2016 11:41:46 GMT -5
He'll do the work with Micah, but don't think for a second that kid will make it easy! Indeed. I've been thinking about this one and the issue that strikes me is that Micah has probably never had a proper family life. The story covers hugs, but has he even seen a birthday celebrated in the way most kids expect? And Christmas? 'The Kid' by Charlie Chaplin in 1921 come to mind. To me, it's one of the few films that illustrate 'pathos' in the way it should be done. The film 'Mary Poppins' has its moments too, despite being overplayed for the most part. A muted brass ensemble plays:
Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's The little old bird woman comes In her own special way to the people she calls Come, buy my bags full of crumbs
Come feed the little birds, show them you care And you'll be glad if you do Their young ones are hungry Their nests are so bare All it takes is tuppence from you
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag, Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag "Feed the birds, " that's what she cries While overhead, her birds fill the skies
etcAnd if you think about it, that scene alone is a box of Kleenex in its own right. Probably though, most folk don't see it for what it is. Yes, now that you mention it, I think you're right. Food for thought.
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Post by justadave on Oct 18, 2016 3:01:24 GMT -5
I just read Little Bit. It is a mesmerizing story, captivating enough that I've finished it and am writing this at 3 a.m. with work in the morning. Thanks for your excellent story telling!
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Post by JJ on Oct 25, 2016 22:53:30 GMT -5
OK, you shamed me into. I'm more of a lurker at The Doghouse than a participant--but your plea at the end of the story asking for feedback got me. So, here goes:
I really enjoyed this story! The character Alex is one of my favorites from Sanitaria Springs, and it was very satisfying seeing him interact with Micah. The dialogue was true to the characters: quirky/outside-the-box Alex, loving/holding-the-line Sasha, and skittish/wanting-to-trust Micah. I'm not sure about the flashback as a story-telling device for this tale. I know it can create dramatic interest, to pull people into the story. In this instance, I think most of your readers would have been happily pulled in just by knowing it was an Alex/Sasha story.
Finally: a small correction: before the flashback, the story starts out in "Late May"; at the end of the flashback, it's "June". Should both dates be the same?
All-in-all: great story! I'm waiting to see the next installment, when Micah meets the rest of the gang.
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pedro
Young Hound
Posts: 78
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Post by pedro on Oct 26, 2016 1:05:11 GMT -5
I'm not sure about the flashback as a story-telling device for this tale. I know it can create dramatic interest, to pull people into the story. In this instance, I think most of your readers would have been happily pulled in just by knowing it was an Alex/Sasha story. I don't always like the use of flashbacks myself, but here I disagree with you. I thought it worked just fine. Alex taking an unscheduled trip to his parents home for a confrontation/negotiation with his parents immediately sets up a tension. It also tells us that Alex understands he can still go to them for advice and support even if he knows to do so might be a burden to them. As Alex says he knows they are good people and this reminds us of that. The flashback then explains the reason he is there, with the meat of the story. To me another reason it works is the flashback is led into gently by his father's comment "so what's the trouble?". It is flashbacks that jar by making a disconnect in the flow of the narrative (as distinct from the story's internal time line) that I have trouble with. There are times when that can be made to work and then has great dramatic effect, but too often only confuses the reader who spends half of the next chapter trying to work out what is going on and how it relates to the rest of the story. Dave, I think I have said it to you privately before but like others here I enjoyed this story. Good to get an Alex /Sasha story and the follow up on the 'flash forward' in "The Space Between'. I do hope we will hear more about Micah in the future.
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 26, 2016 20:18:36 GMT -5
OK, you shamed me into. I'm more of a lurker at The Doghouse than a participant--but your plea at the end of the story asking for feedback got me. So, here goes: I really enjoyed this story! The character Alex is one of my favorites from Sanitaria Springs, and it was very satisfying seeing him interact with Micah. The dialogue was true to the characters: quirky/outside-the-box Alex, loving/holding-the-line Sasha, and skittish/wanting-to-trust Micah. I'm not sure about the flashback as a story-telling device for this tale. I know it can create dramatic interest, to pull people into the story. In this instance, I think most of your readers would have been happily pulled in just by knowing it was an Alex/Sasha story. Finally: a small correction: before the flashback, the story starts out in "Late May"; at the end of the flashback, it's "June". Should both dates be the same? All-in-all: great story! I'm waiting to see the next installment, when Micah meets the rest of the gang. Thank you, JJ! It was nice to get back in to Alec's twisted head and see how he'd handle this wounded kid. I'd like to think people would be pulled in or inclined to read because of the characters or to give it a go because I wrote it. I thought it would be interesting to have Alec make his pitch to the folks, tell the story, and then see how they'd handle it. However, you caught me. Amazingly, no one else pointed this out. I was thinking that they'd be showing up in June and that's where I was in my head, but it should have been late May. I'll have to fix it, thanks!
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Post by Dabeagle on Oct 26, 2016 20:22:34 GMT -5
I'm not sure about the flashback as a story-telling device for this tale. I know it can create dramatic interest, to pull people into the story. In this instance, I think most of your readers would have been happily pulled in just by knowing it was an Alex/Sasha story. I don't always like the use of flashbacks myself, but here I disagree with you. I thought it worked just fine. Alex taking an unscheduled trip to his parents home for a confrontation/negotiation with his parents immediately sets up a tension. It also tells us that Alex understands he can still go to them for advice and support even if he knows to do so might be a burden to them. As Alex says he knows they are good people and this reminds us of that. The flashback then explains the reason he is there, with the meat of the story. To me another reason it works is the flashback is led into gently by his father's comment "so what's the trouble?". It is flashbacks that jar by making a disconnect in the flow of the narrative (as distinct from the story's internal time line) that I have trouble with. There are times when that can be made to work and then has great dramatic effect, but too often only confuses the reader who spends half of the next chapter trying to work out what is going on and how it relates to the rest of the story. Dave, I think I have said it to you privately before but like others here I enjoyed this story. Good to get an Alex /Sasha story and the follow up on the 'flash forward' in "The Space Between'. I do hope we will hear more about Micah in the future. I'm sure it would make Alec proud to know that 'What's the trouble' is exactly what his father leaps to with any sudden appearance by Alec. No doubt he'll just show up now to keep them on their toes. As I thought of the parents, my idea was that they've kind of done their job. They raised Alec, they raised Lucien. To ask them to take on a troubled teen may be more than they can handle. Still, knowing who they are and they hearts they must have to raise a man like Alec, I knew they'd step up. I do have an idea for a Micah centered story, but I only have a few scenes. I haven't had any real time to work on them on this trip to Florida; long days.
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Post by Nick Deverill on Oct 30, 2016 12:53:01 GMT -5
Something that might give you some fuel would be to have Micah very good at one aspect of school. Not sports as that is rather well worn, but there must be something bookish you can convincingly write about. The obvious place to discover it, would be during a detention... And I can just see Micah thinking anyone could do it, with 'it' being something they most certainly could not!
Added - perhaps some aspect of numeracy. Beating a calculator at something. I can 'do' reciprocals in my head, but really it's simple, just memorise 2 to 9, and interpolate in your head. Looks clever, but not that special really.
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Post by Chris Gross on Nov 1, 2016 22:01:59 GMT -5
Just wanted to say that I really love the stories you write.
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Post by baddius on Nov 2, 2016 18:37:38 GMT -5
“What do I have to do?”
Never before have six little words more plainly revealed the darkness that often lurks beyond the façade of human kindness. The fact that someone so young would already know the cold truth that nothing is free in life (even charity comes at the cost of making someone else feel good about themselves) and others will even use your basic needs to cruelly manipulate you into satisfying their desires, is just heartbreaking. The fact that this is simply a fictional account does nothing to assuage my disgust, because I know that there are children around the world, just like Micah who have to say those words every day or suffer.
The things suggested by those six little words represent the worst humanity has to offer: those who would force children to perform unspeakable acts for things they should have a right to have as young members of the human race (being human alone should guarantee food, water and shelter but especially so in youth). We, as readers, do not even need to know details about what Micah is expecting to know that he has seen more of this darkness than any one person, let alone a child, should have to endure.
Even though Micah is saved in the end, there is another problem that needs to be addressed – Alec cannot save the world. He said himself he wants to make the world better one person at a time, but this is going to be a dilemma, because a person as caring and naïve (there, I said it) as Alec will never be satisfied as long as there is suffering to bear witness to. He cannot save everyone, but the Alec I am familiar with will never accept this – and it will tear him apart.
That’s all I have to say for now.
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